Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in Courtney's LiveJournal:

Saturday, March 26th, 2005
10:49 pm	Fo rizzal my Nizzal Well i had an overall good time at the movies and then a pretty good sleepover. I was suppose to go to this girls birthday party today but i didnt really wanna go so i told cam to tell her that i just couldnt make it. I wrote a poem and put it on a website. People said it was good, but i have no confidence in it so i dont beleave it is. tell me what you think, even though no one responds. lol. im going insane. writing to myself. lol. im retarded. ha ha ha. ok ill put the poem down Rip my soul out and shred it fine Break my spine and watch me die Tear my heart of my chest Do everything with no rest Rape my mind so viciously Kill my life maliciously Wait till I am fully dead Then cry silently in your head Once I am done and gone You will know how u did me wrong Later The Easter Bunnys Comming to Rape Me Current Mood: weird Current Music: Bowling for Soup - Punkrock 101 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
9:28 pm	Tomarrow, Tomarrow  omg i cant wait till tomarrow. grrrrr. Half day cus its the beginning of spring break. YAY!!! after school were all goin to alex (girls) house and then were gonna go to the mall to shop and watch a movie in the cinemas. lol. some ppls parents are bein meanies and we have to keep changing the plans. GRRRRR. Cam well hes just fricken more depressing than anything else. He said that I am the reason hes always depressed, I make him want to cry, and basically i have ruined his life completely. Then hes all like oh dont cry. WTF??? how cant i? I have souly ruined his being. I feel like a horrible person. I just dont want to hurt him again. If we go out were just gonna break up so there is NO point. 7th grade loves dont last forever unless your Cory and Tapanga. And were not. I suppose I could just go out with him untill he breaks up with me but idk i just dont see y we cant just be friends who love each other. I guess im scared of comitment and i dont want to get hurt again. I dont know. I just want a bf but i dont want to go out, or something. grrr. idk. ya thats pretty much it. im goin to see are we there yet tomarrow. dont really wanna see it but screw it whatever. Later Bizatches!                                                                                                                COURTNEHHHHH!!! Current Mood: stupid Current Music: Sum 41-Pieces and the osbourne song ill miss that show ='( (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
6:21 pm	Derpa der Well ive been ok the past few days, i gues. Thursday rocked. We had a dance, then a whole bunch of us walked to McDonalds. I dont really liked McDonalds but it was still fun cus the guys are fricken halarious and cool. My friend Nick started eating these hippi stickers i found at school. Then he threw them up. lol. it was pretty funny. Matty and Nick were skipping when were walking there and they were being pretty funny cus they had theyre arms around each other and started smacking each other butts. lol. it was funny. I dont think the old ppl in the neighborhood appriciated it though. lol. old people suck. well that was my highlight of the week. ok im gonna go talk to you dudes later. I miss my cameron Current Mood: bored Current Music: our lady piece - somewhere out there (Comment on this)
Monday, March 14th, 2005
10:01 pm	Sup my hommies!!! Hello, i talked to chelsie today. It was cool since she is all in arizona and stuff. Alex and sam are going out and my world is coming to an end. Everyone has someone to love except for me and i dont know why. I really want a bf and i expecially want cam. well i gtg my bros home and i know hes gonna want on the comp. later Current Mood: calm (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:59 pm	heyheyhey This entrys from a few days ago but the site was in read only mode. Well im going a little farther down this cold hallway of life everyday. I become less in love with Cam everyday. I know i will always think of him cus he was my first love but i dont think i will ever want him back. It pleases me that i can get over him. Ryan, Alex, and I were suppose to go up north to my cusins party; too bad Ryans moms a fricken douche and said "its not u i dont trust ryan, its them". WTF! hes my fricken brother practically. his mom always ruins all my plans. She can suck my fat ass!!! I was watching tv the other day and i saw a comercial for a tv show for blind ppl. i just started laughing. Thats like making a def person sing the national anthem at the super bowl. its just stupid. Ryan and alex are a couple again. I dont really even care anymore though. She broke up with him just to ask him back out 3 months later. Middle School realationships are the stupidest things in the world! your in middle school you know 13 yrs old. there is no need to go out with this many ppl you little sluts! DAMNIT! its pissin me off BAD! i have to pee, tinkle, pody, wee wee, etc. can u tell im bored?                             Later bitchez!!! Current Mood: blah Current Music: opps i did it again. idk y (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
4:24 pm	Life is Great I talked to Cam for like 3hrs online last night. it rocked! Then he called this morning. We talked for an hour about video games pretty much. lol. We would make a great dorky couple. I miss him really bad and now he likes other girls. I dont want to ruin his fun. ='( i love him so much Love sux Life heals Scars take over my heart Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Three Days Grace - I hate Everything about You (Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
3:03 pm	hi DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKER. I had a whole fricken entry in here and my hand slipped and i pushed enter and it erased it all. AHHH. that just pisses me off. Ok so me and Cam arnt going to go out cus i think its stupid to. I just dont see the point. were just gonna break up and get hurt so there is no reason to go out and go through with it. Maybe ill ask him out after his b. day so i dont have to go to his party. lol. that would be weird. Mike has been gone for 2 days. it makes my life a happier place cus i dont have to hear his more than annoying voice every day. YESSSS!!! I hate him sooo much anymore. Hes always just like blurting out in class and talking back to the teachers then laughs at himself cus he thinks he is SOOOO cool. hes just a fricken douche bag. GOD! i hate him. I could just take my shoe off and beat him with it. ERRRR. i hate him. ANYWHO... I wrote a poem He looks at her She looks away Neither wanted it to end this way. sad idnt it. i wrote it when me and cameron werent talkin. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: A Perfect Circle - Passive (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
8:09 pm	Rating My life is rated PG. What is your life rated? thats what my live is rated i guess. Current Music: Creed - Six feet from the Edge (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
7:00 pm	ello Hey, today was depressing. All i thought about was cam. i was just numb. i have no clue how i made it through the whole day. The bus ride home was sooo funny cus my friend Jordan looked soooo cute. He was laughin at somethin i said and his face got all red and he looked sooooo cute. All ive done since i got home is just like slept and listend to music. I cut myself today so it would keep my mind off cam but it only kept my occupied for i little while. I know i shouldnt do it and its bad and you prolly dont understand so dont tell me to not do it cus it helps me. Dont ask y it does. Anywho ya. well i gtg. ill talk to you peeps later. ~"He looks at her and she looks away they both know it wasnt suppose to end this way" Current Mood: crappy Current Music: Linkin Park - Numb (Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
5:36 pm	hi Hey, uhh my names courtney. I had another name on here but I had to change it cus of some issues with my friends. ok so mostly on here ill talk about Alex(girl) Alex(guy), ryan, ethan, michelle, jessica, eryn, and mike. <--- hes a guy i dont really like. well anyways thos r mostly the ppl ill talk about and ill prolly talk a lot about cam. hes my ex bf. theres a lot of stuff between us right now so there will be a lot of feelings about him in here. Think of this as my First entry. Today sucked. I thought Napoleon Dynamite died and then i found out that he didnt so that pissed me off. then this morning on the bus this girl erica had me listen to a song that cam wanted me to here. ill put the lyrics at the end of the entry so you know y im so upset about it. then my friend came home with me but shes sick and sleepin on my couch right now sooo. ya. my life is pretty boring. and sucky. well im gonna go heres the lyrics to that song. Can you see me Floating above your head As you lay in bed Thinking about everything That you did not do Cause saying I love you Has nothing to do with meaning it And I don't trust you Cause every time you're here Your intentions are unclear I spend every hour waiting for a phone call That I know will never come I used to think you were the one Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all You ain't ever coming back to me That's not how things were supposed to be You take my hand just to give it back No other lover has ever done that Do you remember The way we used to melt Do you remember how it felt When I touched you Oh cause I remember very well And how long has it been Since someone you let in Has given what I gave to you And at night when you sleep Do you dream I would be there Just for a minute or two do you? You ain't ever coming back to me That's not how things were supposed to be You take my hand just to give it back No other lover has ever done that Heartache heartache I just have so much A simple love with a complex touch There is nothing you can say or do I called to let you know I'm through with you Current Mood: numb Current Music: Maroon 5 - Through with You (Comment on this)